Lucius! How could you have failed to show me the full scope of the resources I have at my command? There is a whole body of work on the Webs dedicated to revealing the inner and outer workings of me to me! I only have to supply some minimal information and answer a scant number of questions (a disproportionate number about my favourite colour) and ( Read more... )

Would all students who sat on the toilet in Car 7 of the Hogwarts Express on the way back to Hogwarts please report to the Hospital Wing for inspection immediately? We are afraid that you have probably contracted a case of The Gay.